物の哀れ
Wednesday, December 02, 2009, 12:38 AM
There's always a critic somewhere in my head, cursing me, criticising, setting the bar for the things I need to do, for the things I haven't done enough, for the things that I must sometimes force myself to do in order to achieve that shiny cloud of satisfaction when I cross the finishing line.
~
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it failed because I was distracted, sometimes he wasn't harsh enough.
Don't want a thousand years of regret, for a chance I missed, for the extra hour I could have done to make it better. Saying things like I wished I had, If only I had done_____. It's a repeated cycle, ever so tiring. Time is always an issue. Or rather time management. But at least I want to be happy working hard and of course working smart.
Why do I sound like I'm torturing myself.
I'm running this race again, for my JLPTest. A certificate to mark my understanding in the japanese language. A language I'm passionate for and was so keen in learning when I was a kid. I want to do well. I want to understand. I want to read the book I bought last year. I want to read interviews. I want to go Japan. Can I do it? Will I get at least 60 and pass? With 6 levels of work to comprehend, hundreds of vocabulary to get into my head, a killer listening test, all these in less than 5 days. Other than saying die and give up, I must do what I can. Yes.
~
ok this is how I motivate myself to start studying again. Remember all the reasons I want to pass this test, saying things like must, can, definitely will kick me back to studying again. I must not look down the cliff and keep climbing. I must at least try my best, even if I fail I won't regret for the 5 days of work I put myself through. Yes, ok bring on the next level, I'm ready! Focus!
[Though I'm not sure whether I'll be highly spirited about tomorrow to study again, but heh that's tmr. ok get back to work!]
[Though I'm not sure whether I'll be highly spirited about tomorrow to study again, but heh that's tmr. ok get back to work!]
Labels: inspiration, jap class
Monologue
Monday, November 30, 2009, 12:26 AM
I need to panic if not I wont get my heart still to study.
Why are you not studying.
Because I'm distracted and I'm half in holiday mood and I don't want to.
But you shouldn't be so wilful, you know you'll regret for not working hard enough when you get your results back.
I have some more time, maybe. It's only 12.30am. A few more chapters to memorise and read then it should be.. okay. I hope.
I have some more time, maybe. It's only 12.30am. A few more chapters to memorise and read then it should be.. okay. I hope.
Come on it's your last paper, you're almost done, bear with it!
No it's not my last paper, I have JLPT on SUNDAY. AND I'VE BARELY TOUCHED ANYTHING.
Try to remember how interesting you felt graphic design history was.
It's not interesting today.
Be a good girl, you've watched Dead Man's Chest and you're happy so now get back to reality already.
I'm trying, by talking to myself here.
Is it working?
Hmm not yet but maybe I'll try reading my favourite topics again.
No it's not my last paper, I have JLPT on SUNDAY. AND I'VE BARELY TOUCHED ANYTHING.
Try to remember how interesting you felt graphic design history was.
It's not interesting today.
Be a good girl, you've watched Dead Man's Chest and you're happy so now get back to reality already.
I'm trying, by talking to myself here.
Is it working?
Hmm not yet but maybe I'll try reading my favourite topics again.
Ok go go!
Ok, after I eat my tau sar pia.
-.-
Ok, after I eat my tau sar pia.
-.-
PIRATES!
Saturday, November 28, 2009, 7:07 PM
As I was trying to start studying again after I had my dinner, I heard a familiar tune of the pirates of the caribbean. Curious to what ads are using this theme again, I walked to the tv and I saw..
A FULL SHOT OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW STANDING ON A BOAT.
A FULL SHOT OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW STANDING ON A BOAT.
Surprised I gaped, omg.
Drats if I had known the black pearl's gona show on tv tonight I'd have mugggged really hard in the day. But nevertheless this made my night.
Because I'm still a pirate fangirl through and through. :D
Drats if I had known the black pearl's gona show on tv tonight I'd have mugggged really hard in the day. But nevertheless this made my night.
Because I'm still a pirate fangirl through and through. :D
Labels: fangirlism, pirates of the caribbean
Not studying tonight
Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 2:55 AM
AHH-choo
Sunday, November 22, 2009, 10:04 AM
Studying with facebook, msn and twitter on always cracks me up seeing impending doom statuses like: "is going to buy a coffin and die in it today" or "I want to buy some time please"
or puns associated with AAH [Asian Art History]
like aah I'm dead or aah bang wall or
"omg hoyu-ji muri-ji genji todai-ji simidai-ji?!"
"omg hoyu-ji muri-ji genji todai-ji simidai-ji?!"
Though I'm not any better, paper is tomorrow and I haven't read at least 50% of the monuments. At least I like studying about Japan, but that's just too much info for 2 nights of study. I need to digest history from 1st century AD all the way to 1495AD, that's like studying 1495 years of history in 2 nights. After that I only have 1 night to understand Singapore society, which is even much more worse. Nah not the worst because I've got friends still rushing projects at the same time, that is the ultimate worst situation. I'm thankful to have cleared my course projects even if it's only 2 days before my first paper.
It's already 10.40am, I better panic now.
Jiayou AAH.
Labels: school
Designer by day, fangirl by night
Saturday, November 21, 2009, 12:40 AM
I am finally done for the semester with my submissions! Well other than exams, the first paper starting in 2 days and I haven't started studying. Somehow after miraculously churning out 2 books in just 2.5 days, I feel I can do anything.
These are the 3 babies that I've made this week with much sleepless nights and temptations from watching the next ep of you're beautiful, I am pleased. I was so bad at paper crafts before but now after 3 attempts at perfect binding, I'm glad to say I've improved with each book I made. So I'm really happy with that, though some pages still seem to be on the edge of falling off if flipped too roughly. Now I wished I took more photos before handing them in.
Though I think I could have done more pages for the letter journal given more time but I think I did my best in this very short timeframe. And I'm so happy right now I'm finally done with submissions this sem! Oh happy day!
~
These are the 3 babies that I've made this week with much sleepless nights and temptations from watching the next ep of you're beautiful, I am pleased. I was so bad at paper crafts before but now after 3 attempts at perfect binding, I'm glad to say I've improved with each book I made. So I'm really happy with that, though some pages still seem to be on the edge of falling off if flipped too roughly. Now I wished I took more photos before handing them in. This's my favourite page in the letter journal. Spent at about 3 hours drawing all those Fs while facebooking, blasting music in the middle of the night but I had fun! They look better photographed actually haha. F for fun! :D
One of my haiku page for type.
Though I think I could have done more pages for the letter journal given more time but I think I did my best in this very short timeframe. And I'm so happy right now I'm finally done with submissions this sem! Oh happy day!
~
So I spent my night watching dramas and catching up reading reviews, entertainment news. I really need to shut off from design for a while, tonight at least. "You're Beautiful" is currently my drama dose this season. It's like a fusion of Boys Over Flowers [Great set, great fashion] and Coffee Prince [Great crack, great moments] which screams awesome addictive drama for a fangirl. Then I chanced upon more episodic reviews of Love Shuffle and I went to watch the last episode again. It's almost winter, wondering if Nojima Shinji-san wrote any new dramas next season.
Yes I am so enjoying myself tonight it's almost 2am and I'm not even sleepy yet. I think I'm considered quite lucky to have at least 4 hours of sleep the past few days. I don't really believe in staying up all night to do something, because I find that when you get really tired, you spent the rest of your low energy on keeping yourself awake and then you'll do work half the speed. Sleep is for the strong! Yeah so I'm off to bed now, what awaits is another hectic weekend studying for my papers.
Labels: design, dramas, love shuffle, school
Balloon
Monday, November 16, 2009, 10:57 PM
It was drizzling, I was sitting on the cold shuttle bus back to school. This sombre little song was playing.
Floating, beautifully, slowly, higher, drifting away and eventually disappears. Forgotten.
Please don't forget.
Don't go.